Listen to the article:
School and extracurricular activities provide ways for kids of all ages to meet new people, experience new things, and practice socializing. Maintaining good communication skills with your pre-teen is important and at this stage of life kids are experiencing many changes.
In many ways they are stepping out of their comfort zones, moving away from the routines of childhood and starting to find out who they are as individuals. And all of these changes may cause problems with school, peers, or social interactions.
If your pre-teen continues to enjoy spending time with you then by all means relish in the valuable time together, but even if she doesn’t share everything with you, whenever you suspect problems at school or with peers, you can help your pre-teen work through issues in the following ways:
Maintain Strong Relationships: As kids enter the pre-teen stage, they sometimes try to shut parents out, therefore during this stage of development it’s important that you put even more effort into maintaining a good relationship with your child.
Get to know her friends and build relationships with their families as well as the teachers and staff at school. When your child is at school, she is in a completely different environment and being able to recognize issues fast is crucial. Have conversations with the other adults around your child. Social problems at school or with peers can be more easily resolved when communication lines are open.
Addressing Issues: Problems need to be confronted immediately to prevent long-term effects. Social difficulties can result in low self-esteem or depression. For some kids, acting out becomes an issue, which could cause your child to be labeled as disruptive or lazy. Talk to your pre-teen to let her know you want to help her work through the unpleasant situations. Consider involving school staff and by showing your pre-teen she has a support team, she’ll have the hope and motivation to work through the issues.
Health issues, learning difficulties, or attention problems can sometimes cause social problems; all of which can affect your child’s overall well-being. The sooner you establish a strong trusting relationship with your child, the more likely it will continue throughout life.
Thought Starters:
- Engaging in Your Pre-Teen’s Social World: Consider how you can be more involved in your pre-teen’s social life, such as getting to know their friends and building relationships with their families, and the staff at their school. Reflect on how this involvement can help you stay informed and recognize any social issues your child might be facing.
- Effective Communication Strategies: Think about ways to maintain open and supportive communication with your pre-teen, especially when they are less inclined to share. Ponder on strategies that can encourage your child to talk about their feelings and experiences.
- Addressing Social Issues Promptly: Reflect on the importance of addressing social difficulties as soon as they arise. Consider how you can approach these issues in a way that is supportive and non-judgmental, providing your pre-teen with the reassurance that they have a strong support system.
- Recognizing Underlying Causes of Social Challenges: Think about the potential underlying issues that might be contributing to your pre-teen’s social problems, such as health issues, learning difficulties, or attention problems. Contemplate how early recognition and intervention in these areas can be beneficial.
- Fostering Long-Term Trust and Relationship Building: Reflect on the long-term importance of establishing and maintaining a trusting relationship with your pre-teen. Consider how this foundational relationship can support them through current challenges and continue to be a source of strength in the future.
Suggested Questions To Ask Your Child:
- How was your day at school today? Did you spend time with your friends?
This general question invites the pre-teen to open up about their daily experiences and social interactions at school, aligning with the article's suggestion to maintain strong relationships and stay informed about the child's social world.
- Have you faced any challenges or uncomfortable situations with your friends or classmates recently?
This question directly addresses potential social issues, as recommended in the article. It's framed in a non-confrontational manner, encouraging the pre-teen to share any difficulties they may be experiencing.
- Is there anything you'd like to talk about or need help with, regarding school or your friends?
This question shows the pre-teen that their parent is available and willing to support them, as suggested in the article. It provides an opportunity for the child to discuss any problems they're facing and seek guidance.
- Do you feel comfortable in your group of friends, or are there times you feel left out or uneasy?
This question helps to uncover any underlying social challenges the pre-teen might be facing, such as feeling excluded or bullied, which is important for early intervention as mentioned in the article.
- What makes you feel happy and supported when you're with your friends?
This positive question encourages the pre-teen to reflect on healthy and supportive social interactions, aligning with the article's emphasis on fostering strong, trusting relationships and identifying positive social dynamics.
