Listen to the article:
Time-outs are attached to a lot of different opinions and outcomes. Some parents rely on the time-out as a rule enforcing mechanism while others are completely opposed to them for various reasons. And when it comes to the kids, some respond positively to a time-out, learning the intended lesson, yet other kids are not impacted at all. Fortunately, there are other methods for redirecting your child towards the right path.
Using positive alternatives are more easily carried out when parents are calm and focused so they can help kids learn to understand and control emotions and impulses.
You may find some of the time-out alternatives to be eccentric in comparison to traditional methods, however they can help produce the desired outcome for your child’s learning process.
#1 Guide her in sharing her feelings. Kids don’t always know how to control their emotions, much less understand them. Before you begin to correct your child and point out the mistake, help her comprehend what she was feeling. This aids the child in calming down and allows her to get in touch with her emotions. By addressing the matter from the viewpoint of feelings, she can gain an understanding of what she did wrong and why it wasn’t acceptable and learn self-discipline.
#2 Give him a hug. Most likely you’ve experienced firsthand that moment when you’re in a crowded store and your child has a meltdown. Your first response is probably feelings of embarrassment and concern, wondering what others are thinking. Give your child a hug so he can feel reconnected and safe in your arms. After he regains composure, ask him what happened and then address his behavior and explain why it was inappropriate.
#3 Compliment her on something. It is a habit for many to look for the negative and focus on correcting. Why not find the positives and point them out instead. Compliment your child when she does something thoughtful for someone or finishes her chores without being reminded. This will encourage a positive environment and motivate your child to continue the good behavior.
#4 Spend time together. Chisel out some one on one time with your child on a regular basis. Regardless of how chaotic life is, the precious moments with children speed by quickly. Also, if your child has misbehaved or made a mistake, have some quiet time to talk about his feelings while he calms down. This process will help redirect your child’s attention and hopefully cause him to lose interest in the previous negative behavior and it will communicate to your child that you are attentive to his needs and will support him no matter what. Then when he misbehaves in the future, you can say to him, “you must need to have some special time with me, let’s do this as a team.”
#5 Stop and listen. When your child is having a tantrum, rather than trying to correct her, stay and listen. Sit with your child and tell her you’ll stay with her. Refrain from trying to get her to talk but listen if she does. Otherwise, just sit in silence together. Your presence alone will communicate to her that you have time for her and what she is going through matters to you.
Time-outs can oftentimes become an immediate reaction rather than a well-thought out response. The above suggestions not only guide your child in a positive way, they also aid you in being mindful and help you teach with positive influence.
Thought Starters:
- Instead of immediately resorting to a time-out, consider guiding your child in sharing their feelings. Ask yourself, "Can I help my child understand what they were feeling and why their behavior was inappropriate by addressing the issue from an emotional perspective?"
- When your child misbehaves or has a meltdown, think about offering a hug first to help them feel safe and connected. Ask yourself, "Can I reestablish a sense of security with a hug and then discuss what happened and why it was inappropriate?"
- Instead of focusing solely on correcting negative behavior, consider complimenting your child for positive actions. Ask yourself, "Can I create a more positive environment by acknowledging and encouraging my child's thoughtful actions and responsible behavior?"
Suggested Questions To Ask Your Child:
- How were you feeling when you acted that way?
This question encourages the child to reflect on their emotions and helps them understand the connection between their feelings and their behavior. It fosters emotional awareness and self-discipline, as suggested in the article.
- Do you want a hug to help you feel better?
This question offers comfort and reassurance to the child during moments of distress or misbehavior. It follows the article's suggestion of using physical affection to help a child feel safe and connected.
- Can you tell me about what happened and why you acted that way?
This question prompts the child to explain their perspective and thought process, facilitating communication and understanding between the parent and child. It aligns with the article's recommendation to address the child's behavior by having a conversation.
