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Of all the values a child can learn, understanding the importance of being trustworthy is among one of the most significant of all. Teaching your child, the importance of being trusted by others will impact every part of his life from friendships to marriage and being hired professionally. But how do you teach this worthy trait?
#1 Teach by example: Your child is observing your actions and words constantly so be sure you set a good example when teaching the importance of trustworthiness. For instance, if you promise your child to read a book together or go to the park on a specific day, make sure you follow through with what you promised. Regardless of all your other responsibilities, the chaos of the day, or how tired you are, doing what you said will show your child the importance of being reliable.
#2 Expect Follow-through. By directing your child to finish a task within a specific timeframe, you can teach the importance of follow-through as an element of trustworthiness. For example, ask your child to pick up her toys before going outside to play. After your request, leave her to finish up and check back later. Once she’s gone outside to play, check her room to see if the toys were picked up properly. If she did it, praise her for doing what she said she would. If she failed to follow-through at all or lacked the motivation to do it correctly, remind her of the importance of giving her word.
#3 Use Mistakes as Teaching Moments: Children at a very young age can tell the difference between the truth and a lie, so look for the important teaching moments to show them the difference and how it affects others. For example, if your child is playing with a figurine that you’ve forbid him to touch, and he breaks it only to lie to you, use it as an example on the importance of honesty.
#4 Enforce Consequences: If your child frequently agrees to do a chore or a task you’ve asked him or her to be responsible for, yet fails to follow-through, sometimes it is necessary to enforce consequences to help them develop self-discipline and the role it plays in trustworthiness.
#5 Let It Happen Naturally: Look for opportunities to praise your child for successfully following through on his word, especially when he did it without being asked. Set up opportunities that will aid in the development of this important trait. For example, allow him the opportunity to choose and make the correct decision.
This should be done based on your comfort level and your child’s level of maturity. For instance, if your son wants to play next door with a friend, loosen the reigns a little. If he is familiar with the rules of crossing the street, knows what time to be home, then rather than walking him over or reviewing the specifics ahead of time, allow him to go on his on. Simply ask him if he knows what to do and allow him to experience a little independence. Once he succeeds it will give you peace of mind knowing that he is responsible and trustworthy. If he slips up, review the rules with him and explain how his mistakes could have caused worry, danger, lack of trust, etc.
Learning this trait is much easier accomplished when he is young and unconditionally supported by you, rather than being forced to learn it in later years when others may not be so patient, tolerant, or understanding.
Thought Starters:
- Modeling Trustworthiness in Daily Actions: Reflect on how your actions and promises to your child can be used to model trustworthiness. Consider the impact of consistently following through on your commitments, no matter how small they may seem, in teaching your child the value of reliability.
- Encouraging Follow-Through in Your Child: Think about ways to encourage your child to complete tasks and fulfill promises. Contemplate how setting expectations and checking on their follow-through can reinforce the importance of trustworthiness.
- Using Mistakes as Opportunities for Learning: Consider how moments when your child makes a mistake, such as breaking a rule or being dishonest, can be transformed into valuable teaching moments about honesty and trust.
- Implementing and Enforcing Consequences Appropriately: Reflect on how enforcing consequences when your child fails to meet commitments can aid in developing their sense of responsibility and understanding of trustworthiness.
- Creating Opportunities for Independent Decision-Making: Think about situations where you can allow your child more independence, such as going to a friend’s house or making certain decisions on their own. Contemplate how these opportunities can help them understand and value trustworthiness through their own actions and choices.
Suggested Questions To Ask Your Child:
- Do you remember a time when you kept a promise? How did that make you feel?
This question encourages the child to reflect on an instance where they followed through on a commitment, aligning with the article's emphasis on teaching trustworthiness through follow-through. It helps the child recognize the positive feelings associated with being reliable.
- What do you think you should do if you make a mistake or break a rule?
This question is related to the article’s suggestion to use mistakes as teaching moments. It prompts the child to think about honesty and taking responsibility for their actions, which are key aspects of being trustworthy.
- How would you handle a situation where you have to make a decision on your own?
Asking this question aligns with the article's advice on letting children experience independence. It encourages the child to think about making decisions that reflect trustworthiness and responsibility.
- What do you think are the consequences of not doing something you said you would?
This question relates to the article’s point about enforcing consequences for not following through. It helps the child understand the importance of keeping their word and the impact of their actions on others’ trust in them.
- Can you tell me about a time when you felt proud of being honest, even if it was hard?
This question encourages the child to share experiences where they chose honesty, reinforcing the article’s emphasis on honesty as a fundamental aspect of trustworthiness. It highlights the value of being truthful, even in challenging situations.
