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Empathy is having the ability to understand what others are experiencing and showing concern for those suffering. It is a trait that can naturally emerge from a very young age and when fostered, stronger empathy skills are learned and developed.
Below are some suggestions that can help nurture your child’s empathetic skills.
Encourage Conversation
Many parents want to shelter their children from the harsh realities of the world, ranging from school shootings to global issues. However, kids are not as oblivious as we sometimes wish they were, especially when they routinely interact with others at school and extracurricular activities. It’s likely your child will hear about a scary incident when you’re not around to protect them. Depending on the age of your children, consider encouraging conversation about these incidents, rather than shielding them from the truth. As children hear stories of tragedy, it offers the opportunity to discuss emotions and encourage empathic thinking.
Create an Empathy-Friendly Environment
Whenever you notice a lack of empathy, work to create an environment that will help cultivate it. Look for actions that you can point out to your child. For example, if she opens the door for you when she sees you struggling with an armful of groceries, rather than saying “thank you,” let her know how thoughtful and considerate it was to stop what she was doing to help you. The acknowledgement will encourage more of the same thoughtful acts in the future.
Teach Cause and Effect
Helping your child connect feelings with actions and behaviors will teach them about cause and effect. This can be achieved through play-acting or reading a story that discusses different feelings experienced because of the actions of others. For example, a story about bullying would present the ideal opportunity to discuss the wrongfulness of it as well as the feelings experienced by the victim. Ask your child how he thinks the victim felt and find out what he would do if the victim were a friend or classmate. Also, for older children, ask them to share thoughts as to why they think the person felt the need to bully another child.
Be a Good Role Model
As often as possible, lead by example when your child is watching. The fastest way children learn is by watching parents, older siblings, caregivers, etc. Respond with patience, friendliness, and warmth to your child and other family members as often as possible. When your child is sad or upset, give him your full attention by listening, asking questions, and offering hugs until you know he’s better and ready to do something else. And always keep in mind that he is listening the way you talk with others on the phone, at the store, or while driving.
Kindness and empathy are learned and strengthened with action. When your child gets home from school ask her if she did anything nice for someone, or if she shares a story about an incident, prompt her to express how the event made her feel. Additionally, you can share stories about kids who did something to help others, such as donating funds to a homeless shelter. Fostering concern for others will teach empathy and mindfulness.
Thought Starters:
- Recognizing and Reinforcing Empathetic Behaviors: Reflect on moments when your child shows empathy or thoughtfulness, like helping with tasks or showing concern for others. Think about how you can acknowledge these actions in a way that reinforces the value of empathy.
- Teaching Empathy Through Storytelling and Role-Playing: Contemplate using stories or play-acting to illustrate the impact of actions on others' feelings. Consider how these activities can be used to discuss empathy in relatable scenarios, such as dealing with bullying or helping a friend.
- Modeling Empathetic Behavior in Daily Interactions: Think about your own interactions and responses in various situations. Reflect on how demonstrating patience, kindness, and understanding in your daily life can serve as a powerful model of empathy for your child.
- Encouraging Reflection on Kindness and Empathetic Actions: Consider asking your child about acts of kindness they performed or witnessed during their day. Think about ways to encourage them to share their feelings and thoughts on these experiences, fostering a deeper understanding and practice of empathy.
Suggested Questions To Ask Your Child:
- How did you feel when you heard about [specific event or situation]?
This question encourages the child to reflect on and articulate their feelings about difficult or challenging situations they might have heard about, in line with the article's suggestion to have open conversations about tough topics. It helps the child to develop an understanding of their own emotions and empathy for others.
- What would you do if you saw someone being bullied or feeling sad?
This question aligns with the article's recommendation to use storytelling or role-playing to teach empathy. It prompts the child to think about how their actions could affect others and what empathetic response they could offer in such situations.
- Can you tell me about something kind you did for someone today?
This question encourages the child to think about and share acts of kindness they have performed, fostering a habit of being mindful about empathetic actions, as suggested in the article.
- How do you think [character in a story] felt when [specific event] happened?
This question is based on the article's suggestion to use stories to discuss emotions and empathy. It helps the child to put themselves in someone else's shoes, understanding and articulating the emotions of characters in various scenarios.
- Have you ever felt like [character/person in a situation]? How did you handle it?
This question encourages the child to draw parallels between their own experiences and those of others, enhancing empathy by recognizing similar emotions and reactions. It follows the article's approach of teaching empathy through relatable experiences and discussions.
