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Children with a healthy self-esteem have the confidence to try new things. Self-esteem enables children to recognize their achievements and take pride in their triumphs as well as deal with mistakes.
In contrast, children with a low self-esteem are shy and unsure of themselves. They frequently second-guess themselves, which can result in difficulty making friends for fear of rejection. Likewise, they will have a tendency to give up easily and be hesitant to try new things. Self-esteem impacts multiple aspects and effects individuals throughout life.
How Self-Esteem Develops
A positive self-esteem can begin very early in life, stemming from feeling loved. Giving your child positive attention and providing a safe environment is the basis of building your child’s self-image. A few words of encouragement and your undivided attention will result in your child developing a healthy self-esteem.
Each time a child learns something new, the reaction they receive from others will impact their perception. With each experience, they will absorb how others respond, making it an ideal opportunity for you to provide positive feedback. From learning to walk, or making friends, to playing an instrument and being included in activities, feeling accepted will influence self-esteem.
How To Help Build Self-Esteem
Your child looks to you for love and safety and is watching everything you do. Be a positive example for your child in the way you handle challenges and deal with other people. You are the most important role model your child has, especially in the very early years. By being patient, spending quality time together, offering genuine praise, and giving lots of hugs, you are fostering your child’s confidence.
- Provide Structure: Be sure to set boundaries and structure in your child’s life. As your child gets older, assign chores and tasks, and provide the opportunity for him or her to make choices and gain a sense of independence.
- Praise Appropriately: Praise is crucial and should be given when it is deserved. If for example, a child didn’t do well at a soccer game, rather than saying it was great, acknowledge it wasn’t the best, adding that everyone has off days, and offer praise for sticking through the game. Your child is smart, with good instincts and offering praise for something not truly earned will not serve a good purpose.
- Focus on Strengths: Help your child develop new skills by giving attention to the strengths versus focusing on the weaknesses. Create new challenges that you know your child is capable of achieving, so he or she can experience the joy of accomplishment. All while offering encouragement, instruction, and support.
If your child displays signs of low self-esteem, take comfort in knowing it can be raised. Indications such as being self-critical, or focusing on failures rather than accomplishments are signs of a low self-esteem. , Therefore, doing everything possible to build your child’s self-esteem in the earlier years will be better for them. What might seem small to you could be extremely important to a very young child. It is never too early to start allowing your child to help out at home. The experience of helping others provides a sense of good feelings, a sense of purpose, and positive self-esteem, no matter the age.
Thought Starters:
- Creating a Loving and Positive Environment: Reflect on how you can consistently provide a loving and positive environment for your child. Consider the impact of your attention and encouragement on their self-image and self-esteem from an early age.
- Role Modeling and Handling Challenges: Think about how your own behavior and attitudes, especially in handling challenges and interacting with others, serve as a role model for your child. Ponder on ways to demonstrate positive coping strategies and respectful interactions.
- Balancing Praise with Realistic Feedback: Contemplate how to offer praise that is genuine and deserved, while also providing constructive feedback. Consider the importance of acknowledging efforts and resilience, even in the face of setbacks or less-than-perfect outcomes.
- Focusing on Strengths and Encouraging New Skills: Reflect on how you can focus more on your child’s strengths and less on their weaknesses. Think about how to create challenges and activities that align with their abilities, encouraging the development of new skills and the experience of accomplishment.
- Involving Children in Helpful Activities: Consider how involving your child in helpful tasks and responsibilities can contribute to their sense of purpose and self-worth. Ponder on ways to include them in meaningful activities at home and in the community.
Suggested Questions To Ask Your Child:
- What was something you did today that made you feel good about yourself?
This question encourages the child to reflect on positive actions or achievements that boost their self-esteem. It aligns with the article's emphasis on recognizing and taking pride in one’s accomplishments as a way to build self-esteem.
- How did you handle a challenge or a difficult task today?
Asking about how the child dealt with challenges reinforces the importance of coping strategies and resilience, as mentioned in the article. It helps the child to see challenges as opportunities for growth and learning.
- Is there something new you'd like to try or learn, and how can I help you with it?
This question focuses on encouraging the child to develop new skills and take on challenges, which the article suggests can build self-esteem. It also shows the child that their parent is supportive and involved in their learning process.
- What are some things you like about yourself?
This question encourages the child to think about their strengths and positive qualities, fostering a sense of self-worth and confidence as advised in the article.
- Can you tell me about a time today when you felt proud of being patient or waiting for something?
This question is related to the article's suggestion of teaching patience and self-control. It helps the child recognize and value these qualities in themselves, understanding their importance in building self-esteem.
