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Finding a way to spend one-on-one time with your kids is one of the most important steps you can take in building their self-esteem and showing them how much you love them. Kids don’t need you all to themselves for hours on end, nor do they need one-on-one time with you on a daily basis. But, no matter the number of kids you have, finding those little moments to read a story, lie down beside them, tuck them in, or play a game will add up.
Life gets busy and there’s no denying that kids want our undivided attention constantly, but taking time to see each one as an individual adds undeniable value to your relationships.
#1 Nurtures the Shy Children. Maybe you were the shy kid growing up or befriended someone that was. Kids who are shy or less outgoing have a harder time letting their true personalities be seen. If you have a shy child, that individual time together will let her know that you have time to help her learn to be comfortable around others. It will build self-esteem and enable her to come out of her shell.
#2 It Lets Them Know You Care. Individual time together will communicate to your child that you value them. Choose to do something that your child enjoys, whether it is a trip to the park, playing a game of pirates, or reading a book. The one-on-one time will nurture his hobbies without siblings complaining or competing for your attention.
#3 Reduces Negative Behavior. Kids sometimes misbehave as a way of getting attention. Spending one-on-one time together will cultivate good behaviors and fulfill their desire for your responsiveness in a positive way.
#4 No Need for Competition. It’s a competitive world with classrooms and sports teams attempting to treat everyone as equals, it can stir up an array of emotions in kids because the truth is they aren’t equal. As kids grow up they experience competition in their own way, but you can remove the need for competitiveness at home by giving each one your undivided attention.
#5 It Provides Time for Conversation. Having dinner together with the entire family is a cherished tradition indeed. However, it does not replace individual conversations. Personalities differ and while one sibling may openly discuss everything another may prefer private discussions so there’s no risk of judgment or teasing. Quieter children struggle to talk in front of multiple people and the individual conversations can give the boost in self-confidence necessary to help them socialize better. It can also be the perfect way to get to know your child too.
Here are a few suggestions to spend one-on-on time with your kids:
- Rotate one or two Saturdays a month to dedicate to each child.
- Prepare a meal together.
- Take a walk around the neighborhood.
- Have a conversation while the two of you do chores together.
- Color or draw together.
- Build a tent of blankets.
By making time for your kids on an individual basis, both of you will benefit. It will strengthen your bond and you’ll love them for the unique person that they are. You’ll also learn all the idiosyncrasies of their personalities and be more in tune to their needs, as they grow older. The value of one-on-one time will create lifetime memories.
Thought Starters:
- Rotating Saturdays for One-on-One Time: Consider dedicating one or two Saturdays each month to spend individually with each child. This rotation ensures that each child receives special attention and feels valued.
- Cooking Together: Preparing a meal together can be a great bonding activity. This not only teaches children valuable life skills but also provides an opportunity for meaningful conversations and shared experiences.
- Neighborhood Walks: Taking a walk around the neighborhood with each child individually can be a simple yet effective way to spend quality time together. It's an opportunity for casual conversation and enjoying each other's company outside the house.
- Joint Chores: Doing chores together can transform a mundane task into a bonding experience. It's a chance to chat, teach responsibility, and work as a team, which can strengthen the parent-child relationship.
- Creative Activities like Coloring or Drawing: Engaging in creative activities like coloring or drawing together can be both relaxing and fun. It allows children to express themselves artistically while spending quality time with their parent.
Suggested Questions To Ask Your Child:
- What would you like to cook with me this weekend?
This question encourages the child to participate in planning a meal together, which is a bonding activity mentioned in the article. It allows the child to feel involved and valued in the decision-making process.
- Would you like to take a walk around the neighborhood with me?
Asking this question offers an opportunity for one-on-one time during a neighborhood walk, as suggested in the article. It sets the stage for a casual and relaxed environment where the child can share thoughts or just enjoy the company of the parent.
- What chores would you like us to do together this week?
This question turns chores into a joint activity, fostering teamwork and communication. It aligns with the article's suggestion of using everyday tasks as a means of spending quality time with the child.
- Which book or story would you like to read together tonight?
By asking about reading preferences, a parent can engage in a shared reading experience, an activity that can be both educational and intimate. This question reflects the article's emphasis on creating meaningful interactions through simple activities.
- Do you want to draw or color something together today?
This question invites the child to engage in a creative activity with the parent, fostering both creativity and bonding. It's an example of using arts and crafts as a way to spend quality time together, as mentioned in the article.
