Listen to the article:
Can you recall the time when your two year old was having a tantrum in the middle of the kitchen floor and nothing you tried helped? Most likely he wanted to let you know why he was upset and needed you to assist him in calming down, but at two he wasn’t able to communicate that. And, during the event you were at a loss, feeling helpless and lacking self-confidence. Did you know kids can pick up on that?
At one time or another all of us have questioned what we should do, and that’s to be expected. But on a day-to-day basis, your child needs you to parent with confidence.
It is just as important for parents to have confidence as it is for kids because when you display confidence, they will feel protected, safe, and free to be themselves.
As a self-confident parent, it isn’t necessary to always make the perfect decision or know the exact thing to say to your kids. Nor does it mean you shouldn’t ever get upset, but what it does entail is that you allude to your kids that you are always there for them to provide protection and guidance no matter what.
Here are suggestions on how to portray yourself as a confident parent.
- Control your emotions: If you feel you’re becoming too angry or frustrated, take a step back to regroup. If your child is witnessing it, own up to your emotions by saying something like, “Mommy is upset and needs to take a deep breath.”
- Maintain a calm voice: A confident parent rarely feels the need to yell and instead will be patient, yet firm.
- Practice positive self-talk: When encountering a stressful situation, remind yourself that your child needs you and give yourself a pep-talk to get through without becoming angry.
- Be aware of your posture: Body language is just as important as verbal. When correcting your child, lower yourself to his level and make eye contact to calmly and firmly reprimand. Adding a hug at the end will communicate your empathy and understanding.
- Find support: If finding your own confidence is challenging, reach out to a friend or expert who can offer some direction.
According to Psychology Today, when parents are confident in themselves and have a positive outlook on life, they are better equipped to respond positively to their children, plus without the presence of worry or second-guessing there’s more attention devoted to children “in the moment.” Parents and other caregivers are the biggest influences for children and regardless of what we say, they always learn more by watching and mimicking what we do.
Finding your own self-confidence may require practice and intention, along with trial and error, but eventually you will have the strength and reassurance necessary to be the confident parent your child wants and needs.
Thought Starters:
- Reflect on Emotional Control Techniques: Consider ways to control your emotions in challenging parenting situations. Reflect on strategies like taking a moment to breathe deeply, stepping away briefly to regain composure, or using positive affirmations to maintain a calm demeanor in front of your child.
- Evaluate Your Communication Style: Think about how you communicate with your child during difficult moments. Are you able to maintain a calm and firm tone? Assess your approach and consider ways to ensure your voice and words convey confidence and understanding, rather than frustration or anger.
- Practice Positive Self-talk: Focus on developing positive self-talk habits, especially in stressful parenting situations. This could involve reminding yourself of your strengths as a parent, reassuring yourself that you can handle challenging moments, or encouraging yourself to stay calm and collected for your child’s sake.
- Assess Your Body Language: Pay attention to your body language when interacting with your child, especially during disciplinary moments. Consider adopting a posture that is open and approachable, like kneeling to your child’s eye level, to foster a more empathetic and confident connection.
- Seek Support and Guidance: If you find it challenging to maintain self-confidence in your parenting, think about reaching out for support. This could be talking to a trusted friend, joining a parenting group, or seeking professional advice to gain strategies and reassurance in your parenting approach.
Suggested Questions To Ask Your Child:
- How do you feel when we talk about your day together?
This question encourages the child to share their feelings about parent-child interactions, reflecting the article's emphasis on the importance of positive and confident communication from the parent. It helps the parent gauge if their approach is creating a sense of security and openness in the child.
- What can I do to make you feel more understood when we're discussing something important?
The article suggests the importance of positive self-talk and emotional control by the parent. This question aims to understand the child's perspective on how well the parent is managing their emotions and communicating during significant conversations.
- Do you like it when I listen to you without interrupting?
Since the article talks about the significance of calm and patient communication, this question allows the parent to understand if their method of listening actively and patiently is effective in making the child feel heard and respected.
- What helps you feel better when you see me upset or frustrated?
The article advises parents to control their emotions and acknowledge them in front of their children. This question helps the parent understand how their emotional expression and management strategies are impacting the child.
- Is there anything you’d like us to do differently when we solve problems together?
In line with the article's suggestion to seek support and guidance, this question invites the child to contribute ideas on how problem-solving can be improved within the family, promoting a collaborative and confident approach to addressing challenges.
