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Responsibility is a life skill that will enable them to earn the respect and trust from others, have the self-control to appropriately handle money, and live a prosperous life. The simplest most valuable ways to teach kids responsibility is through chores and ongoing tasks at home.
In regards to chores, different families have varying opinions, ranging from how many to assign, what is age appropriate, and whether or not chores should be attached to an allowance or other reward. Chores not only teach about responsibility, but through involvement, children learn the importance of helping out at home, taking pride in their environment, and how to be self-sufficient. When all family members pitch in, it strengthens your bond and benefits the entire household.
When assigning chores, keep in mind that children develop at various stages, each one at his or her own pace. Ideally, the chores that you assign should involve aspects that impact the child personally as well as some that teach the importance of lending a helping hand. Below is a guide that identifies the types of chores that are standard for certain age groups. Make necessary adjustments to fit your individual family needs and personalities.
Ages 2 – 3
Personal Chores:
- Help making their bed.
- Pick up toys and belongings under supervision.
Family Chores:
- Assist a parent with small cleaning tasks such as wiping up a spill or dusting.
- Under supervision, he or she can fill a pet’s food and water bowls.
- Place dirty laundry in designated area.
Ages 4 – 5
During this stage, children can begin to learn to use a chore chart or chore cards. This can also be attached to rewards such as earning screen time.
Personal Chores:
- Dress alone with little or no assistance.
- Transport items to the house from the car or outside.
- Pick up toys and clothes.
- Wash hands appropriately.
Family Chores:
- Sort laundry by color.
- Match socks and put them away.
- Set and clear the dinner table with minimal supervision.
- Dust furniture.
- Hang towels and clothes.
- Clean their bedroom with supervision.
- Fill food and water bowls for pets.
- Help unload groceries and put away with parental supervision.
- Dry mop or sweep floors without chemicals.
Ages 6 – 7
Personal Chores:
- Choose an outfit and get dressed alone.
- Make bed daily.
- Write a thank you note with assistance.
- Comb hair and brush teeth independently.
Family Chores:
- Help parents prepare meals.
- Empty trash cans indoors.
- Fold and put away laundry.
- Answer phone calls with supervision.
- Exercise and feed animals.
- Vacuum, sweep, and wet mop floors.
- Put clean dishes away.
- Keep bedroom cleaned.
Ages 8 – 11
Personal Chores:
- Independently bathe or shower.
- Rely on an alarm clock to wake up and prepare for the day.
- Keep up with belongings.
- Complete homework.
Family Chores:
- Wash and put away dishes.
- Rake leaves.
- Take trash bins to the curb.
- Use washer and dryer with guidance.
- Wash vehicles.
- Prepare simple meals alone.
- Clean the bathroom under supervision.
- Check smoke alarms monthly.
Ages 12 – 13
Personal Chores:
- Independently take care of personal belongings and homework.
- Change bed linens.
- Maintain a tidy bedroom as well as thorough cleanings twice a year.
Family Chores:
- Mow the lawn.
- Babysit.
- Prepare the family meal a few times monthly.
- Routine house cleaning chores.
- Change light bulbs.
Ages 14 – 15
Personal Chores:
- Keep up with library books and library card
- Help younger siblings
Family Chores:
- Prepare the family food menu, make grocery list, and shop for items with adult supervision.
- Complete housework as assigned without reminders.
Ages 16 – 18
Personal Chores:
- Earn own spending money
- Purchase clothes independently.
- Drive, put gas in the car and ensure routine maintenance is performed, including tire pressure and oil changes.
Family Chores:
- Perform all yard work and housework, as needed.
- Clean appliances and defrost freezer, as needed.
Through building a strong foundation of teaching kids chores at a young age, each new skill will evolve into more responsibility. Chores teach that rewards do not come without hard work. When you clearly communicate your expectations and define the responsibilities, you’ll avoid chore wars and your child will learn to be an active member of society.
Thought Starters:
- Introducing Age-Appropriate Chores for Young Children (Ages 2-3): Consider how you can start introducing simple personal and family chores to very young children. Reflect on tasks like helping to make their bed, picking up toys, or assisting in small cleaning activities, and how these can instill a sense of responsibility in young children.
- Developing Responsibility in School-Aged Children (Ages 8-11): Think about the types of chores and tasks that are suitable for children aged 8 to 11. Contemplate how chores like washing dishes, raking leaves, and managing personal hygiene can help them learn independence and contribute to the family.
- Preparing Teenagers (Ages 14-18) for Adult Responsibilities: Ponder on the responsibilities suitable for teenagers to prepare them for adulthood. Reflect on tasks such as preparing family meals, doing routine house cleaning, managing finances, and car maintenance, which can help them develop skills needed in adult life.
- Balancing Personal and Family Chores for Children (Ages 4-7 and 12-13): Consider how you can balance personal and family chores for children in the 4-7 and 12-13 age groups. Think about how chores like dressing independently, making their bed, mowing the lawn, and babysitting can promote a sense of responsibility and self-reliance.
- Engaging Older Teenagers in More Complex Household Tasks (Ages 16-18): Reflect on how older teenagers can take on more complex household tasks. Think about ways to involve them in yard work, housework, and maintenance tasks like cleaning appliances and defrosting the freezer to enhance their understanding of household management.
Suggested Questions To Ask Your Child:
- Can you help me pick up your toys and put them away? (For ages 2-3)
This question is suitable for very young children as it involves them in a simple personal chore of picking up toys. It aligns with the article's suggestion that children in this age group can start learning responsibility through manageable tasks like tidying up their own belongings under supervision.
- Would you like to help set the dinner table tonight? (For ages 4-5)
This question introduces a family chore that is appropriate for slightly older children. It encourages them to participate in household tasks, which is in line with the article's recommendation for children in this age group to engage in chores like setting and clearing the dinner table with minimal supervision.
- What time do you think you should wake up tomorrow to be ready for school on time? (For ages 8-11)
This question helps children in this age group practice managing their time, a key responsibility suggested by the article. It encourages them to think about their personal chores, such as getting ready independently in the morning.
- Do you feel ready to start preparing a simple meal for the family? (For ages 12-13)
Asking this question encourages teenagers to take on more complex family chores, such as meal preparation. This aligns with the article's recommendation that children in this age range should start learning skills like cooking to contribute to the family and develop self-sufficiency.
- Have you thought about how you will manage your spending money? (For ages 16-18)
This question is relevant for older teenagers and addresses the responsibility of managing personal finances, a task suggested in the article. It prompts the child to think about financial responsibility and independence, preparing them for adult life.
