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Having an optimistic attitude has a way of making life more enjoyable and it can even make obstacles seem less challenging.
Attitudes are learned and like most things, your child will learn about attitudes from you. In addition to what you teach through verbal instruction, you’ll also be teaching through real life actions as your child observes.
One way to help ensure that you raise an optimist is to start as soon as possible. Most of us know firsthand that it is much easier to view negative aspects rather than focus on the positive parts. So, while it isn’t an easy lesson, it is certainly an important one.
Be A Good Role Model
Parents and caregivers are the biggest influencers for children, and according to a study conducted at Loyola University; parents who are routinely pessimistic typically raise pessimistic children. Therefore, be mindful or your attitude and work together as a family to encourage positive outlooks versus negative ones. Not only will it benefit your kids, but you’ll be happier too.
Use Struggles as Learning Opportunities
Outlook is so important in life for people of all ages; and having an optimistic attitude doesn’t mean that you’re oblivious to the realities of life. Struggles are an unavoidable part of life, but by having hope you gain strength. Additionally, when you’re able to find the “silver lining” you learn to find the good even in a negative event.
When you use your kids’ struggles as teaching moments, you’ll teach them gratitude and optimism. Here’s how: consider a personal struggle and then consider something good that probably wouldn’t have occurred without the negative part. For example, Sally had a job that she dreaded going to, because the work was difficult, the hours were long, and the pay was awful. However, had she not worked there when she did, she would’ve never met the love of her life.
Granted most struggles that your children will experience are minor in comparison but for them, the feelings of disappointment or sadness are real. When incidents occur, talk about it together, offer them sincere support, and point out what was learned from the experience.
Reframe Negative Comments
You’re probably all too familiar with the negative self-talk and so are your kids. A common response for kids when they’re frustrated is “I can’t do it!” It may happen when they’ve tried repeated to hit the softball, working a coat zipper, or tying shoes. Use it as an opportunity to gently correct and reframe the wording with a positive spin such as, “You can’t do it, yet.”
If there are negative phrases that your child uses frequently, take time to write them out in one column and in the other column create positive phrases as replacements.
Encourage Independence
Confidence and self-esteem naturally encourage a “can do” attitude. Rather than always shielding your child from mistakes, encourage independence and when things don’t go as planned, walk her through various aspects and ask her what was learned, what could you have done differently, etc.
Inspire Moments of Gratitude
The human brain is wired to think of potential dangers or negative features, but we can retrain our own brains and also steer our children to have moments of gratitude. By incorporating this into a daily or weekly routine, you can teach your children to focus on and be grateful for all the positive things that happened throughout the day or week. Setting aside time to listen to what is being shared is an easy way to inspire optimism.
Through incorporating happy events into your daily life, your child will inadvertently learn from positive experiences.
Thought Starters:
- The Power of Optimism: What comes to mind when you think about optimism, and why do you think it's important in life?
- Parental Influence: How do you think children learn about attitudes, both positive and negative, from their parents and caregivers?
- Teaching Optimism: Do you agree that it's easier to focus on negative aspects than on positive ones? Why or why not?
Suggested Questions To Ask Your Child:
- Can you tell me why it's important to have a positive attitude, even when things are challenging?
This question encourages the child to reflect on the significance of maintaining a positive attitude during difficult times, fostering an understanding of the benefits of optimism.
- How do you think Mom/Dad's attitude affects how you feel and behave?
By asking this question, parents can help their child recognize the influence of parental attitudes on their own emotions and actions, promoting awareness of the parent-child relationship.
- What are some ways we can work together as a family to encourage positive outlooks instead of negative ones?
This question engages the child in thinking about collaborative efforts within the family to promote optimism, emphasizing the importance of teamwork in shaping attitudes.
- Can you share an example of a time when you faced a challenge and eventually found something positive in it?
By encouraging the child to share a personal experience, parents can reinforce the idea of finding opportunities in challenges and promote the practice of optimistic thinking.
- Do you remember a situation where you or someone you know said something negative, and how do you think it affected the outcome?
This question prompts the child to recall instances of negative self-talk and their potential impact, facilitating a discussion on the consequences of pessimistic attitudes.
- How can we change or reframe negative comments and thoughts into more positive ones?
This question invites the child to brainstorm strategies for turning negative comments or thoughts into more optimistic ones, fostering problem-solving skills and optimism-building techniques.
- What are some things you'd like to try or achieve, and how can we support you in developing a "can do" attitude?
By discussing goals and aspirations, parents can encourage their child to think about self-confidence and self-belief, while also reinforcing the idea that family support plays a crucial role in fostering optimism.
