Listen to the article:
Facing change is an inevitable part of life. It’s not necessarily enjoyable for anyone, but as adults we’ve learned to deal with it through experience. Change can be hard for children to acclimate to, large or small, and as parents we want to do everything possible to shield our children from stress and unhappiness.
However, It’s impossible to shelter children from every unpleasant consequence of life. They need to learn how to adjust to variations. It may be the small changes such as a new morning schedule or new breakfast cereal. But big changes occur as well and may include major alterations like moving to a new place, switching daycares, or starting school for the first time. Whether large or small, changes can trigger an assortment of reactions from children.
Below are tips to help them cope:
Talk to them: Before a change takes place, talk to your child about it. Provide as much information as possible and involve him in the process. For example, if the change is a daycare switch, set up a meet and greet time so he can meet people and visit the new environment beforehand. Or if your family is relocating, ask your child if he could help you find a new place to live, or encourage him to think of how to decorate his new bedroom. Children sense when change is about to occur and leaving them in the dark is typically more stressful than acknowledging what’s happening. Additionally, communicate your feelings about the change and let them know you understand what they are going through. If you have examples of a similar experience from your childhood, share the story with your child.
Listen to them: Answer any questions your child may have and listen to their feelings. Some children will want to talk about the situation immediately while others may need time to process it. When your child is ready to chat, listen carefully with undivided attention.
Maintain as much normalcy as possible: Big changes like getting a new sibling or moving to a different house can be stressful for children. Maintain their normal routines and surroundings as much as possible. If a new baby sibling is in the picture, be sure to keep bedtime reading with your older child the same. Even when you relocate, maintaining the normal routines, holding on to the familiar bed linens, etc. will help them ease into the transition.
Create new routines: Although keeping to the normal routine is beneficial, it is also important to create new routines. Perhaps you’re moving to a place that has an activity center you know your child will adore. Tell him about it and ask if he’d like to take weekly hockey lessons or join the swim team. Even adding a simple activity to the daily routine such as a song at bedtime, or a movie night every Tuesday will give your child something new and exciting to look forward to, making the change seem more positive.
When you’re communicating with your child about the changes taking place, focus on the positives. This is a time for you to be strong and optimistic, even if you’re having difficulty with the change. Having a positive outlook will help you and your child until soon, the new will become normal.
Thought Starters:
- Consider your own experiences with change, both as a child and as an adult. How did you feel and cope? Sharing these experiences with your child can make the conversation more relatable and comforting.
- Identifying Specific Changes Your Child Faces: Think about the specific changes your child is currently facing or will soon face. Understanding the nature of these changes (big or small) can help tailor your conversation and support strategies accordingly.
- Planning for Routine and New Experiences: Consider what aspects of your child's current routine can be maintained amidst the change and what new routines or activities can be introduced to make the transition smoother and more exciting.
Suggested Questions To Ask Your Child:
- How do you feel about [specific change]?
This open-ended question invites the child to express their feelings about the upcoming change, whether it's a new school, a new home, or any other significant alteration in their life.
- What can we do to make [specific change] more comfortable or fun for you?
This question involves the child in the process of adapting to the change, giving them a sense of control and participation in managing the transition.
- Would you like to help with [specific task related to the change]?
Whether it's decorating a new room or choosing a new school, involving the child in decision-making can help them feel more engaged and less anxious about the change.
- Do you have any questions or worries about [specific change]?
This question encourages the child to voice any concerns or queries they might have, allowing the parent to address them directly and provide reassurance.
- What would you like to keep the same in our daily routine?
Maintaining certain aspects of the current routine can provide a sense of stability. This question helps identify what parts of the routine are most important to the child.
